To Momma - Love, Sam

If I set out on adventure intent to discover,
the world’s most brilliant and beautiful, beguiling Mother
I’d have to travel the world, search far and wide.
Comb every crevice, from every long side.
I’d inspect all the islands and browse all the beaches,
then follow the coastline as far as it reaches.
I’d forage the forests and climb every tree,
But the best Mom I’d find is the one who made me.

Other moms are all just rivers,
My Mommy - an ocean.
Other moms stand still,
My Mommy - always in motion.

Other moms are good,
My Mommy - she's great.
Other moms are only sixes,
Mine’s a ten, nine and eight.

A super star specimen, the cream of the crop,
In a pile of moms I'd find mine at the top.
My Mommy brought me to this world so I’m alive and breathing,
She's helped me out with everything from walking to teething.
She teaches me all of the things that I will need to know,
She sings with me, laughs with me, and watches me grow.
We start out at the park and then head to the zoo,
My Mommy always plans so many things for us to do.

Other moms are pogo sticks,
My Mommy - a car.
Other moms are small planets,
My Mommy - a star.

Other moms are rolling hills,
My Mommy - a mountain.
Other moms are shallow pools,
My Mommy - a fountain.

She’s a big bowl of ice cream, with nuts and a cherry,
hot caramel, whipped cream and lots of strawberries;
bananas and sprinkles, and a striped candy strawfull,
of chocolate and tiny baked pieces of waffle.
Each and every bite is so amazingly yummy,
and none of it is leaving any ache in my tummy.

Other moms are daisies,
My Mommy - a rose.
Other moms are nostrils,
My Mommy - the nose.

Other moms are waiters,
My Mommy - the cook.
Other moms are pictures,
My Mommy - the book.

My Mommy is the best around, there isn’t any doubt,
So excuse me if I take a whisper and make it a shout.
I want to scream it loud enough so everyone hears,
my enthusiastic "I’m so proud, I love you Mommy" cheers.
I didn’t mean to make you sad by telling you the facts.
I hope you can just sit right down, accept them and relax.

Yours to Keep

You are a princess in my heart and I care for you so much.

I love the fondness in you eyes and your tender little touch.

I looked at you when you were born and knew then straight away,

that I would be forever here to watch you grow and play.

You bring to me a heart of joy and memories so great,

and a powerful sense of fatherhood that no one can debate.

I watch you sleep and dream of things that I can only wonder.

That innocent look upon your face just makes my heart grow fonder.

I see you run and jump and shout and calling out my name.

No love that I have ever known could ever feel the same.

No suffering or tragedy nor deeply seated pain,

could ever over shadow the bond that we retain.

And so my little princess before you go to sleep,

remember I am your daddy and I am yours to keep.

Daddy's Bathroom Rant

This is something that has bothered me for quite some time...and, as hard as I am to offend, I was ( and am ) pretty offended by it.

When Sam was much younger, and we were out together ( either Lana, Sam and myself or just me and Sam ), there was frequent need for stops at the bathroom for some butt changing. No problem, part of the deal. I was amazed at two things:

1) The lack of changing stations in Men's bathrooms.
2) The fact that I had never noticed it before.

To take Sam in to a public bathroom as an infant and find that there is nowhere to change her comfortably was, at first, an inconvenience, but then started to draw my ire as time went on. When out with Mommy, I could at least have her take Sam in to the Women's Room where there is ALWAYS a changing station...but that brings with it a great deal of unfairness. Still, doable. When out with just Sam, I am forced to balance my little Princess on one knee while trying to clean her, stay clean myself and wrap things up in a timely manner...all while trying to keep us both off of the terrible public bathroom floors ( which I will get to later ).

To think that whoever designed a lot of these Men's Rooms thought that Dads didn't need them bothers me for a few reasons:

1) Did the designers think that Men didn't want to take care of their children's needs?
2) Did they think that those needs were always to be passed on to Mom?
3) Did they think us incapable?
4) Did they believe we just didn't care?
5) Did they forget that there are a lot of single Dads out there that might need the use of what is a staple of every Women's Room across America?

I am appalled that they feel like Dads couldn't possibly need the same basic amenities as the Moms do. We change butts, too!!!





Now, about the bathrooms...
( For the record, I am not worried so much about the germs...as the world is really one giant ball of filth. This is about the lack of common courtesy and how low a priority maintenance and upkeep seem to be on the individual stores' lists.  )


Let me start by saying, I have been in some nice ones...some I am envious of, actually:

The bathroom at Picazzos in Phoenix. Almost too nice to pee in.

However, a majority of them I would rate lower than a port-o-potty or an outhouse. Seriously. I admit, I never really cared before Sam...probably because I stand up to go and never really needed a stall, but now I am almost willing to take her all the way home to use the potty rather than have her deal with the mess of what should be kept up on regularly. Some public restrooms end up like this after an hour of going unchecked:

YUM!

The other day at Target, I needed to bring Sam in to the bathroom and had to wait for the only stall, which was a handicapped stall. A guy in a wheelchair was occupying it...and he had a helper with him. They left the bathroom stall such a mess I was close to tipping his chair when I saw him a few minutes later. Toilet paper everywhere, feces left on the toilet, piss on the floor and seat. Being in a chair does NOT, in any way, preclude you from basic decency...especially when you have a helper! If you are that incapable of going to the bathroom, go in a bag so my Daughter can use the toilet in a sanitary area without a clean up crew coming in first.


While I am talking about bathrooms, I will leave you with an image of my ideal toilet:

Yeah, I could die here...

Daddy's "Eyes"

I woke up this morning to Sam quietly play with a new ball she got for her Birthday from a friend...slowly approaching me, it would seem, to attack at the right moment. She didn't get the chance, but as soon as she realized I was awake, she started to frantically search the surrounding area and got a bit upset. She needed Daddy to have his glasses before he could be deemed officially awake...and she wouldn't stop until she found them. She did find them ( like she always does )...and all was better. My day was allowed to start.

Thank you, Sammy, for finding my "eyes".

Sleeping...anywhere

Ever since Sam has been able to sleep anywhere other than right between myself and Lana, she has made it a habit of sleeping anywhere she falls out. Here are a few examples:

YES, I let her sleep there...

Let her sleep that way until she pee'd...but had to get a pic first!

I am trying to hunt down a missing pic...maybe the BEST pic, but will add it later. I didn't want it's absence to stop this post from being finished. 

Validation

The other day, when dropping Sam off at school, one of her classmates ( a little girl named Flannery ) pointed me out to her Mother and proclaimed "that's Sammy's Daddy".

I smiled for the rest of the day. Thanks, Flannery!

Almost 2 and Amazing

With Sam's 2nd Birthday approaching ( July 21st ), I find myself sitting and wondering where the time went...and how did she become the wonderful little girl she is so fast? Every day she amazes me with stuff she has been doing for quite some time...and a new trick or two thrown in for good measure.

Tonight, for example. Lana was about to vacuum her room, and as soon as Sam saw the vacuum, she immediately started picking things up off of the floor. No provocation, no prodding...and no mention of the vacuum at all. Just instinctively began making way for what was about to be done. Toys up, pillows up and Sammy up on the couch. Amazing to me. I know grown folk that don't have that in them...and my about-to-be-two-year-old just has it in her nature. I love it...let's hope it sticks.

Her potty training is all but completely done. other than some accidents due to being too busy to notcie having to "go", it is all there. She knows to go, what to do when she is done and even waves "bye-bye" to the potties when they go "down the hole". Even when an accident does happen, she takes off her pants and underpants and puts them right in her hamper - sometimes with provocation, but generally on her own. Her Mother's early start on that ( which was very early ) is something she ( Lana ) has caught some grief for lately and I hate that she has had to be made to feel like she is forcing Sam to do something she might not be ready for. Sammy loves the praise and the "big girl" feeling of climbing up on the toilet and doing her thing...and I couldn't be more proud of her. Besides, does this look like a girl being forced to potty?:

I didn't think so.

Her manners never cease to amaze me, either. One of us sneezes, "bless you, Momma" and "bless you, Daddy" come naturally. She accidentally jumps too hard on us or swings something in our direction and gets an "ow" out of us and "sorry, Daddy", "sorry, Momma" is the immediate response ( generally right before jumping again ). She asks for a drink and first comes "peese" followed by a "thank you, Momma". Her Great Grandmother would be so proud. My Grandmother taught me that above all else: manners mean everything. Sam has the most refreshing understanding of that - without them being beaten in to her head. Again, I know grown folk that haven't said "please" or "thank you" since their Mothers forced them to.

She gladly helps with setting the table, handing out our seating assignments and doing the dishes. To the point of being upset if she can't. She has even been enlisted to help prepare ( at her insistence ):

It beats making sneakers for Nike.

The fact that she only used a sippy cup for 2 days is beyond me. We started with shot glasses ( you heard what I said ) and she was on to regular "Mommy/Daddy" glasses in no time. She now goes between regular sized glasses and miniature glasses of the same type....but I think we still have those just because they're cute to watch her drink from.

Letting the dog in and out has been her "job" for as long as I can remember. Her clapping her hands together and beckoning with a "come here dodie ( doggie )" to get Jezebel inside tickles me every time I see it. Her attention to the dog, what she needs and where she is, is something I hope she keeps with her when it is time to have her own ( and her own kids as well ).

As much as I could go on about how quickly she has taken to things and how her development is astounding me...I will just end here with a thought: With her about to be 2...and knowing what "they" say about that age...I can't imagine it being all that terrible at all. Bring it on, I can't wait to meet Sammy every day.

Also good to know, that with all of her manners, knowledge and abilities in her about-to-be 2 years...she is still prone to this:

The new "Unknown Comic"

Momma's Rant

This is from Lana and 100% true - both in my belief and in the fact that she practices all of the following. I don't even need to add my 2 cents...as it speaks for itself:

I'm fed up with lazy parents that think they don't have to teach their kids anything because they'll just figure it out on their own, eventually. I'm sorry, but my daughter will have manners: she will not throw her food or draw on walls. She will practice personal hygeine: including toileting and washing her hands and I won't wait around for someone else to teach her these things for me as I'm one of her parents and it is MY JOB. 

I'm not going to use some philosophy to hide behind, claiming I'm doing the best for my kids by letting them do what they feel like, when they feel like it. In the meantime, I'm also not going to crush her willpower in the actions I take to facilitate her learning and growing. I respect my daughter. I give her choices when and where appropriate, but generally, I work hard to maintain her environment in such a way that anything she could want to do would be acceptable. I observe my daughter and I do my best to provide her with the mental and physical challenges appropriate to her stage of development.

But predominantly, I teach by setting a good example each and every day. I help her to the best of my abilities when she shows interest in following suit. I have confidence in my daughter. I know that she will do everything and anything in her power to learn and grow and I will do anything and everything in my power to help her when she needs me to.

Okay, I will add my 2 cents: Amen, Momma!

Xbox Baby

This is quite old...but couldn't have made me more happy at the time. She had to start sometime, I guess.

The Fattening of Jezebel

It started out pretty cute and completely innocent. When we had Sam, our dog Jezebel was your average Jack Russell Terrier. She was feisty, spry for her age and always in to, or after, something. Before Sam she was, as a lot of pets to a lot of other people, our "child"...and our only child. Not in the "dress her up and take her out" type of way...but she was, for all intent and purpose, our "baby", our life to take care of.

Then Sammy came.

Jez was now second to the real baby, though we did all we could to prepare a pet for the oncoming arrival of our new edition. Well, as much as you can do. There are only so many times you can have a dog sniff a pregnant woman's belly before even the dog thinks you're crazy.

Jezebel dealt with the poking, prodding and all-around annoyance of the new member of our family...and dealt with it well. Lana had already trained her to deal with things like that very early on and it stuck. She was perfect, although a bit displaced despite our best efforts to curb that.

As Sam got a bit older, she would roll after Jez to get to her...and come up short, but still made progress. Then, the rolling turned in to crawling after her...and that lead directly to her cruising after her. Now, it's an all out foot race across the house every day. I thank Jezebel for helping Sam walk across the living room the day before she turned 9 months. Thanks, Jez.

Jezebel learned quickly that babies are clumsy little folk and they drop food all over the place...even after it's been in their mouth. She also caught on to the fact that the best spot in the house would be right under Sam's high chair...

Most of this is going right on the floor.

Jezebel took to making her home right beneath that chair day and day out...and then found out that once Sammy was out of the chair, that she was even better off. See, Sam had become enthralled and overly amused that the doggie ate food like we did...and took every opportunity to amuse herself with that knowledge. "One for me, one for you. Two for me, one for you" became their routine. Partners in crime they had become...and Jezebel's payment for everything was the only thing you can really give a dog: hard smacks on the head and all the food she could eat...

...until a few weeks ago. Now Jez, who normally would have that food in her mouth before it hit the ground, just passes most food right by. Something I have never seen her do. Ever. She has gained somewhere between 5-7 pounds and almost completely avoids the food that Sam either drops or purposely gives her.

Now Sam is responsible for walking that off of the dog by taking her out on her leash, which doesn't happen as often as it should...but will become more prevalent as the weeks go on.

Our dog is fat...fine payment for helping the baby learn how to walk.

Laws of Samanthia

1. All things belong to Samantha. Her things. Your things. My things.

2. Books are to be read...continuously...until they "disappear".

3. Momma and Daddy must be accounted for at all times...as must all babies, pretend or not.

4. Sleep will come wherever she chooses...the stranger the spot, the better.

5. No drink will go without being tested by Samantha.

5a. This also goes for any and all food.

6. Feet are to be covered when blankets are involved. Until they are, their presence will be acknowledged repeatedly.

7. Shoes are to be chosen by Samantha and worn at her discretion - and on which feet is up to her.

8. Buggies are to be killed. Dead.

9. Dog food really doesn't taste that bad.

10. Any surface is to be scaled to it's highest peak.

11. Refrigerators are meant to be raided - any time of night. It acceptable to climb in to said refrigerator if a more thorough search is necessary. 

12. Wendy's french fries trump all foods.

13. Hugs and kisses undo all transgressions.

14. Baths are fine...as long as no hair washing be involved.

15. Daddy cannot start his day without his "eyes" ( glasses ). Once those "eyes" are donned, he must immediately be prepared for any and everything.

16. No bookmark is to remain inside a book.

This drink used to be Momma's. 

And until I see more fries...she ain't gettin' it back.