Xbox Baby

This is quite old...but couldn't have made me more happy at the time. She had to start sometime, I guess.

The Fattening of Jezebel

It started out pretty cute and completely innocent. When we had Sam, our dog Jezebel was your average Jack Russell Terrier. She was feisty, spry for her age and always in to, or after, something. Before Sam she was, as a lot of pets to a lot of other people, our "child"...and our only child. Not in the "dress her up and take her out" type of way...but she was, for all intent and purpose, our "baby", our life to take care of.

Then Sammy came.

Jez was now second to the real baby, though we did all we could to prepare a pet for the oncoming arrival of our new edition. Well, as much as you can do. There are only so many times you can have a dog sniff a pregnant woman's belly before even the dog thinks you're crazy.

Jezebel dealt with the poking, prodding and all-around annoyance of the new member of our family...and dealt with it well. Lana had already trained her to deal with things like that very early on and it stuck. She was perfect, although a bit displaced despite our best efforts to curb that.

As Sam got a bit older, she would roll after Jez to get to her...and come up short, but still made progress. Then, the rolling turned in to crawling after her...and that lead directly to her cruising after her. Now, it's an all out foot race across the house every day. I thank Jezebel for helping Sam walk across the living room the day before she turned 9 months. Thanks, Jez.

Jezebel learned quickly that babies are clumsy little folk and they drop food all over the place...even after it's been in their mouth. She also caught on to the fact that the best spot in the house would be right under Sam's high chair...

Most of this is going right on the floor.

Jezebel took to making her home right beneath that chair day and day out...and then found out that once Sammy was out of the chair, that she was even better off. See, Sam had become enthralled and overly amused that the doggie ate food like we did...and took every opportunity to amuse herself with that knowledge. "One for me, one for you. Two for me, one for you" became their routine. Partners in crime they had become...and Jezebel's payment for everything was the only thing you can really give a dog: hard smacks on the head and all the food she could eat...

...until a few weeks ago. Now Jez, who normally would have that food in her mouth before it hit the ground, just passes most food right by. Something I have never seen her do. Ever. She has gained somewhere between 5-7 pounds and almost completely avoids the food that Sam either drops or purposely gives her.

Now Sam is responsible for walking that off of the dog by taking her out on her leash, which doesn't happen as often as it should...but will become more prevalent as the weeks go on.

Our dog is fat...fine payment for helping the baby learn how to walk.

Laws of Samanthia

1. All things belong to Samantha. Her things. Your things. My things.

2. Books are to be read...continuously...until they "disappear".

3. Momma and Daddy must be accounted for at all times...as must all babies, pretend or not.

4. Sleep will come wherever she chooses...the stranger the spot, the better.

5. No drink will go without being tested by Samantha.

5a. This also goes for any and all food.

6. Feet are to be covered when blankets are involved. Until they are, their presence will be acknowledged repeatedly.

7. Shoes are to be chosen by Samantha and worn at her discretion - and on which feet is up to her.

8. Buggies are to be killed. Dead.

9. Dog food really doesn't taste that bad.

10. Any surface is to be scaled to it's highest peak.

11. Refrigerators are meant to be raided - any time of night. It acceptable to climb in to said refrigerator if a more thorough search is necessary. 

12. Wendy's french fries trump all foods.

13. Hugs and kisses undo all transgressions.

14. Baths are fine...as long as no hair washing be involved.

15. Daddy cannot start his day without his "eyes" ( glasses ). Once those "eyes" are donned, he must immediately be prepared for any and everything.

16. No bookmark is to remain inside a book.

This drink used to be Momma's. 

And until I see more fries...she ain't gettin' it back.